Is There a Doctor in the Tower?
by Blues32
Summary: It's bad enough that Shade and Beast Boy, two people who barely get along, are stuck sick in the tower together. When the tower is broken into by a knifewielding villain, will the two be able to work together and fight him off in their current states? Rat
1. Disclaimer

DISCLAIMER.

I do not own Teen Titans. If I did, there would be a season six. Teen Titans belong to DC Comics. Also I realize there is a huge similarity between Knife-play and Deadpool of Marvel Comics. I based him off of Deadpool but I think I made them different enough.


	2. Chapter 1

**32 Productions Presents…**

A Teen Titan Humor Fan Fiction The Teen Titans in… 

"**Is There a Doctor in the Tower?"**

**Part One**

**Titan Tower: Outside Shade's Room**

Raven huffed and tapped her foot. Shade should be up by now. She didn't have time to be waiting all day for him. He had promised to take her to the "Hall of Torture" display at Jump City Museum. There was no way he was going to weasel out of this one. Not by a long shot. She was all dressed in her civvies and she was NOT going to go back and get changed again. She checked her watch and decided she had enough. She pounded on the door.

Raven: Get up in there! We're going to be late! If we don't hurry up, we'll have to go to the next tour tomorrow!

There was a groan from inside.

Raven: Don't give me that! I don't want to hear it.

Another groan.

Raven: …really? You're not just trying to get out of this, are you?

Groan.

Raven: …can I come in?

Groan, yet again. Raven opened the door and peeked inside. She winced when she saw Shade.

Raven: Damnation…you really are sick, aren't you?

Shade sneezed, loudly.

Shade: Yeah.

Raven: (sigh) Wait here, I'll get the thermometer.

Shade: Sorry, baby…

Raven: …if I find out you're faking this, you're dead. Just so you know.

Shade: Just remember, my body temperature is lower then a humans by about two or three degrees.

Raven: Whatever…

:CUE THEME:

**Med-lab**

Raven entered, grumbling. She really wanted to go with someone but if Shade was sick, there was no way he could come. She'd have to go alone because no one else was interested (she had asked). She found Terra and Beast Boy already there. Beast Boy was shivering and had an ice bag on his head.

Raven: Whoa. What's wrong with him?

Terra: (sigh) He's sick. He's burning up and got the chills.

Beast Boy: I think I'm dying over here! Ooo…

Raven: Where's the thermometer? Shade's acting sick too.

Beast Boy: I think I'm gonna…gonna…

Terra's eyes widened and she grabbed a bowl off the floor.

Terra: Do it in here, in…

Beast Boy vomited all over her, not so much as a speck getting into the bowl.

Terra: …here.

Raven: …thermometer?

Terra: …on the table. Wash it first.

Raven: Thanks…I'd shower if I were you.

Terra: Why bother? He'll only do it again. This is the third time.

Raven: …I thought I smell something.

Raven took the thermometer and returned to Shade's room. He was sneezing…a lot.

Raven: I'd say "bless you" but I'm afraid who would be doing the blessing…and cover your nose when you do that.

Shade: Sorry.

Raven: You done?

Shade sniffled and nodded. Raven approached him with the thermometer but he took it out of her hands.

Shade: I can do it myself, Mother.

Raven: Fine. The less opportunity you have to sneeze on me, the better.

Raven backed away and Shade put the thermometer in his mouth. It beeped and Raven raised her hand, levitating it back to her.

Raven: …99.9. You've got a fever…a slight one…

Shade: By human standards! I'm burning up by mine! I'm dying!

Raven: …Shade, your average temperature is 97.1. You're not dying.

Shade: …well, I might.

Raven: Bite your tongue.

Shade did, much to Raven's shock. She smacked him upside his head, compounding to his pain. The boy was such an idiot…

Shade: Ow!

Raven: It's just an expression!

Shade: Well, I never heard it before!

Raven: (sigh) Need anything?

Shade raised an eyebrow. This was unusual. Raven…asking him if he wanted anything? It was usually the other way around. Who was he kidding? It was usually Raven TELLING him. This was a momentous occasion. He had to consider this with the utmost care.

**Kitchen**

Raven was going to kill him. No. She'd wait until he got better. Then she would kill him.

Cyborg: Uh…Raven?

Raven turned her head ever so slightly in his direction, indicating to him that he had her attention.

Cyborg: …why are you throwing all that meat into that bowl of soup?

Robin: And why are you making soup in the morning?

Raven: …Shade's sick.

Starfire gasped.

Starfire: Oh no! Does he have the mumps? The chicken's box? Jungle fever?

Robin and Cyborg had to stop themselves from laughing.

Robin: Star…first off, it's chicken POX. Not box. Second…jungle fever isn't a disease.

Cyborg: And given his choice in women, I'd say he's in the clear for that one.

Raven: Oh, a pot shot at my skin pigmentation. Original of you. If you'll excuse me, I've got to serve this…slop…to my ill boyfriend…or maybe just dump it on his head.

Raven walked off, carefully holding the bowl of soup in her hands.

Starfire: I do not understand…if jungle fever is not a disease, what is it?

Suddenly Robin and Cyborg felt very uncomfortable.

Terra: (entering) It means you have an attracting to guys with a more…dark skin tone, if you get my meaning.

Starfire nodded knowingly.

Starfire: I have not a clue.

Terra: I tried. We got any vegetable soup?

Cyborg: Don't tell me BB sick too.

Terra: Okay. So do we or not?

Robin: I think so. Check the cabinet…HA! I gotcha now, Cyborg!

Cyborg: Aw, you did NOT just do that.

Starfire: But he did, Cyborg. I am confused by your constant refusal to believe the events that had just occurred.

Cyborg sighed and shook her head.

**Hallway**

Raven grumbled to herself as she carried the bowl of soup to Shade's room. It smelled utterly vile and knowing Shade, he'd ask her to stay so he could be around her while he ate. Suddenly she tripped over something. She managed to regain her balance, but not before splashing some of the hot liquid on her hand. She swore and looked down. It was Sylkie.

Raven: …I am so full of loathing for small animals right now.

Sylkie: …bitch.

Raven didn't seem able to understand either and continued on her way. She arrived in Shade's room and handed him the bowl.

Shade: (sniffling) What? No crackers?

Raven: (gritted teeth) Shade…! I swear, by the leather bindings of the book of Azar, if you don't eat this soup as it is I will dump it on your crotch.

Shade: No, it's fine! Really!

Shade shoved a spoonful of it into his mouth. He regretted it, as it was quite hot. No matter. Raven seemed satisfied. She patted him on the head, obviously afraid to get to close to his face with her own, and left the room. She sighed and headed to the bathroom to wash her hand. Whatever was wrong with Shade, she didn't want.

**Beast Boy's Room**

Terra whistled to herself as she entered his room. Now he was shivering, wrapped up tightly. She gave him the vegetable soup and backed away. She was NOT going to be vomited on again.

Terra: Chills?

Beast Boy nodded.

Terra: Don't worry, Gar.

Terra ripped away her clothes and (somehow) she was wearing a nurse uniform underneath. She put the hat on as a finishing touch.

Terra: Nurse Terra is on the job!

Beast Boy: …where'd you get that?

Terra: Found it in your closet. Where'd YOU get it?

Beast Boy: Uh…I was gonna ask you to wear it…but then I forgot about it.

Terra: Aw. It's cute. A little short…

Beast Boy: Well, it was gonna be for like…you know…private viewing.

Terra smirked and gently slugged his arm. He tried to hide how much it actually hurt.

Terra: Cheeky monkey.

**Later…Main Room**

Robin: I don't know…should they really be out of bed?

Beast Boy: Aw, c'mon Robin! Cy says you guys can't catch this.

Shade: Yeah, apparently only animals get this disease. I blame you.

Everyone sighed and rolled their eyes.

Beast Boy: Me? How is this MY fault!

Shade: It's always your fault!

Beast Boy: It is not! Sometimes it's your fault!

Shade: What! Name one time it was my fa…

Raven: SHUT UP!

Raven sighed as the pair stopped bickering. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Terra: Besides, it's a pain in the butt taking stuff from one end of the tower to another. Here's your orange ju…

Beast Boy vomited on her. She stood there, covered in spew with her hand outstretched. Grinning sheepishly, Beast Boy took the glass from her hand and sipped it.

Beast Boy: Uh…thanks?

Terra: …I'll be in the shower…again.

Everyone went back to what they were doing before. Robin and Cyborg returned to the gym. Starfire went to tend to the garden. Raven sat down and began to read and Beast Boy turned on the TV.

Shade: This show sucks. Change it.

Beast Boy: Bite me.

Shade: I would, but you'd probably blow chunks on me.

Beast Boy: With a face like yours, I'd blow chunks even if I wasn't sick.

The two glared at each other for a moment, imaginary lightening shooting out of their eyes. Raven glanced up at them and shook her head.

Shade: ...okay so what the hell are we watching anyway?

Beast Boy: Dude, you say it sucks and you don't even know what it is?

Shade: You turned it on, it must suck.

Beast Boy: Hey, don't be all pissed at me 'cause you're sick. I'm feeling like crap too.

Shade began another sneezing fit. Beast Boy turned up the TV.

Shade: Raven?

Raven's grip on the book tightened considerably. She looked up at Shade, her left eye twitching. Shade didn't notice. He was looking at the floor, his hands covering his nose.

Shade: Could you get me some tissues? I think I need them.

He sneezed again.

Shade: …check that. I'm sure I need them.

**Raven's Soul**

Purple was dressed in a purple nurse uniform. Red was in a bloody surgeon's outfit. Apparently they were the only ones really involved in this conflict.

Purple: Go get it for him! He needs our help in his time of need.

Red: FEH. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HE NEEDS. HE NEEDS A VISIT FROM DR. RAVEN KEVORKIAN.

Purple paused.

Purple: Wow, that was an old reference.

Red: I TRY NOT TO FORGET THOSE SORTS OF THINGS.

Purple: Well, bully for you. C'mon, get the boy a tissue box. He's done so much for you when you didn't really need him to.

Red: JUST BECAUSE HE'S STUPID AND NAIVE DOESN'T MEAN WE SHOULD REPAY HIS FAVORS. I MEAN, WE LET HIM LIVE. ISN'T THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE LITTLE SHIT?

Purple sighed.

Purple: Sadly, yes, but that's not the point. The point is, he DESERVES our kindness.

Red: HE DESERVES A BULLET TO THE HEAD, BUT WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT EITHER.

Purple: Jeez, you usually come up with better then just a gun.

Red: I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A GUN.

Purple raised an eyebrow. Red grinned widely, drool coming out the side of her mouth.

Red: I'M SURE IF WE PUSH HARD ENOUGH, IT'LL PENETRATE.

Purple: You're sick.

Red: NO, THEY'RE SICK AND AGAIN, I THINK WE SHOULD PUT THEM OUT OF OUR MISERY.

Purple: Okay, this is getting us nowhere.

Red reached into her cloak and pulled out…a silver dollar…a two headed silver dollar. One side was scratched up, the other side was perfect.

Red: LET'S FLIP FOR IT.

Purple: Huh?

Red: THERE'S ONLY THE TWO OF US. LET'S FLIP FOR IT. NO OTHER OPINIONS NEEDED.

Purple: …are you ripping off someone else's shtick?

Red ignored the question and flipped the coin. It landed in her hand, scarred side up.

Red: HA! I…

Purple reached over and grabbed both of her arms. She forced her to put the coin on top of her other hand, like you're supposed to do when you flip a coin.

Red: …BEST TWO OUT OF THREE?

Purple: No.

**Reality**

Raven sighed and stood up.

Raven: Wait here.

Shade: Don't bother. Had one in my pocket the whole time.

Raven: …Shade…that's your pocket lining.

Shade: …oh…so that's what ripped.

Raven plopped back down on the couch and sighed. She had to ignore him. He did stupid things sometimes, but it wasn't his fault. He just…he was…well, he wasn't stupid.

Beast Boy: And you call me stupid?

Shade: Yeah, I do. In fact, let me call you it again. You're stupid.

Beast Boy: Your mama.

Shade: More then likely.

Beast Boy snapped his fingers. He forgot that Shade hated his mother anyway. Before he could think of something else, the familiar wave of nausea hit him. He tried to hold it back, but wound up vomiting on the couch. Some of it splattered, hitting Shade. Shade made a noise of disgust and anger.

Shade: Oh you little shit…!

Shade grabbed Beast Boy by his collar. What he didn't know was that he wasn't done yet. The sudden jerk cause his head to turn and he vomited…on Raven. Raven stared down at herself in shock and disbelief. Slowly her gaze went from the mess to the ones who caused it. Beast Boy and Shade were stuck in the positions they were in when the spew first hit.

Raven: Shade…Beast Boy…run…run away now…

The pair looked at each other for a moment then took off running. Raven held her head, trying to contain the onslaught of Red's screaming in her head. If she didn't calm down, Red would take partial control of her body again. Her cloak began to flash red.

Raven: It's okay, it's okay…just wash it off…get changed…it's fine…fine…they didn't mean it. They were…they were…JUST SCREWING AROUND LIKE…no! Have to be calm. Have to...

The flashing stopped and Raven let out a sigh of relief. She stood up and sighed. She needed to go get changed. Beast Boy and Shade returned when they realized they weren't being chased. They sat back down, still feeling like shit.

Shade: …that was your fault.

Beast Boy: Shut up. I'm so not feeling it right now.

Shade blinked in surprised then sighed.

Shade: Me neither. Wanna watch "The Norway Weed Whacker Butchering"?

Beast Boy: Original or remake?

Shade: Original.

Beast Boy: …remake was better.

Shade: The hell it was! All the remake was about is more blood and gore while the original was scary without showing an extravagant amount of blood. I likes me some gore, that's no lie, but if it can be scary AND goreless, I like it more.

Beast Boy: Dude, the special effects blew.

Shade: You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?

Beast Boy: Just put the stupid movie on.

Shade: Fine.

Shade got up and put the movie in. Before it could even get started, the alarm went off. The others filed in…well, Raven didn't but she was moving as fast as she could. Cyborg typed at the computer for a moment.

Cyborg: Aw, crap. Adonis is trashing a gym.

Terra: That little pip-squeak just loves to beat up people who are stronger then him when he doesn't have that suit, doesn't he?

Starfire: I believe that is referred to as "projection".

Robin: We can do a profile on him later. Right now let's go get him.

The team left, leaving the sick Shade and Beast Boy behind to watch their movie, vomit, and sneeze in peace…or so they thought.

**Outside Tower**

A lone figure scaled the walls of the tower, grumbling to himself.

: How do I get these stupid jobs anyway? …oh yeah, I accept them for large amounts of copious cash. Ka-ching. Wow this place is big. Wouldn't have gone for this design though. Honestly, a giant "T"? Who came up with that? Hmm…I wonder if I'm supposed to lick these suction cups every now and then. Works for those Garfield window sticker things. Eh, this spots as good as any.

Using a laser cutter, the figure cut through the glass and entered the building.

: Lucy, I'm home!

The figure mostly wore black, including his mask that had red around the eyes. His hair stuck out the top, a red messy mop on his head. The chest was covered with a thick red padding over the black suit. He also had knives…lot and lots of knives in seathes all over his body. Big knives, small knives, you name it, he had it. On his back were two guns, a shot gun, and a rifle in the form of an X. All in all it was a wonder that he could move quietly…something he'd be able to do if he would ever shut up. Instead he continued to mutter to himself the entire time. Not that he needed to be quiet right now anyway. No one was home. He watched them all leave.

: Let's see now…map, map, map…where's the directory in this burg? I'd kill to see "you are here". Hmm…sounds like the name of a comedy flick.


	3. Chapter 2

**32 Productions Presents…**

A Teen Titan Humor Fan Fiction The Teen Titans in… 

"**Is There a Doctor in the Tower?"**

**Part Two**

**Main Room**

The pair had stopped watching the movie and had gotten into yet another argument.

Beast Boy: Ketchup!

Shade: Catsup!

Beast Boy: It's the same thing!

Shade: No it isn't!

They got into a fist fight, something that usually happens if no one is around to break them up. It stopped abruptly when Beast Boy had to heave again and Shade entered a sneezing AND coughing fit.

Shade: Jeez, how much did you eat?

Beast Boy: I dunno…how much is on the floor?

The two peered down at the puddle on the floor, curiously. You'd be surprised at how bored you can get when you're sick. Unbeknownst to them, the figure from earlier strolled by, not seeing them over the couch.

: (muttering) I bet it would suck to live in a giant Z. I mean, think of the stairs and no elevator could work in there. Oh, and an S would really blow.

The two looked up, but he was gone.

Shade: You hear something?

Beast Boy: Yeah…

Shade: …(sigh) I guess we better look or something.

Beast Boy: No way. You know what happens to people who go off to investigate strange noises, don't you?

Shade: …oh yeah. Still…Robin would be pissed if somebody got into the tower and we didn't do anything.

The pair sighed. Beast Boy grabbed his barf bowl and they left to investigate.

**Starfire's Room**

The figure dug through her clothing drawers, occasionally pocketing stuff.

: The things I do for cash. Aw well. Decapitating all those stuffed animals was a fun bonus.

The door slid open and he turned around, rather stunned.

: HEY! Don't you know you shouldn't enter a girl's room without knocking?

Shade: Who the hell are you!

: Good question, Smiley. Names…uh…what is my name? Sorry, I haven't quiet decided yet. You can call me…uh…ooo! Call me "Knife-play!"

He posed, earning a stare from the two teenage heroes.

Knife-play: I see my awesome-ness has left you speechless. Take it in. Go on.

Beast Boy: …wow…uh…seeing as how much I was freaked out by the first answer, I'm afraid to ask this but…what are you doing?

Knife-play shushed him loudly. He motioned Beast Boy to come closer. He leaned toward his ear and yelled.

Knife-play: It's a secret, genius!

Shade: It doesn't matter what he's doing! He's broken in to our tower!

Knife-play: Uh…if I said I had a note, would you let me go?

Beast Boy: …let me see it.

Knife-play: Sure thing, bud.

Knife-play handed him a black circle with a stick in it.

Beast Boy: What the hell is this?

Knife-play: A note. Get it? A note? Hahahahahaha…

Beast Boy blinked then started laughing.

Beast Boy: I get it! That's a good one!

Knife-play: Wanna hear something funnier? That's actually a bomb!

Beast Boy yelped and threw the bomb into the air. Shade put up a quick barrier, protecting them from the blast. Knife-play wasn't so lucky. He was brunt badly, twitching on the ground.

Knife-play: …not one of my better plans I see.

Shade: Well, that was easy.

Knife-play slowly stood up.

Knife-play: Lucky for me I got a few handy abilities. A dandy of a singing voice, eyes that leave the ladies speechless, and most importantly (in this situation anyway) the ability to heal REALLY fast.

The burn marks on his now exposed chest faded quickly. He lifted his mask up to his nose and blew them a raspberry.

Shade: That's it. Let's get him.

Knife-play shrank back in mock fear.

Knife-play: Oh no, Mistah Wolf! Don't throw me in the briar patch!

He drew one of his larger knives and leapt at them. They got out of the way and he put a gash in the door.

Knife-play: Just a little off the top, sir? I warn you, this is my first hair cut, so it could be a little close.

That said, he began to swing like crazy, making his foes dodge frantically. Finally Shade created two large blades from his palms and used them to block the next attack.

Shade: Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are…

Knife-play: I think I'm Cher, but I've been known to be wrong before.

Beast Boy: Dude, don't you ever shut up!

Knife-play: Sure, when I'm eating. Talking with your mouth full is rude you know. Then again, I suppose breaking into someone's home to steal…uh…whatever it was I was going to steal is kind of rude too.

Shade finally lost his temper. He fought those who talked a lot before, but never when he was sick. He created a spike that shot from the depths of his coat and into Knife-play's chest.

Beast Boy: Dude! What did you DO!

Knife-play staggered back and coughed. The wound slowly began to close.

Knife-play: I think he just gave me extra ventilation…

Shade: Dammit, what do I have to do to shut you up!

Knife-play: Hmm…well…you could…

With a flick of his wrist, he flung a small knife he had concealed in his sleeve at Shade. It got him in the chest. Shade stared at it for a moment then pulled it out.

Knife-play: …die? Ooo…that's not supposed to happen. Shouldn't you be…I don't know…dead and stuff?

Beast Boy: You okay?

Shade touched the wound and pulled his hand back. It was covered in blood. He held it up to Beast Boy.

Shade: What do you think?

Shade slumped over and fell to the floor.

Knife-play: That's better. Jeez, don't scare a merc like that.

Beast Boy: That guy…maybe an asshole…but he's STILL A TITAN!

His illness forgotten, Beast Boy changed into a grizzly bear and attacked, swatting him away. He hit the wall hard. He stood up and pulled out his shotgun.

Knife-play: Bang, bang, biznatch, you're…

He noticed the barrel had been bent. He pulled out his rifle and saw it had a similar problem.

Knife-play: …I'm in trouble.

Beast Boy changed into a tiger and pounced on him. Knife-play managed to keep him up high enough to prevent him from biting.

Knife-play: Down Simba…down…wait, that's a lion. Sorry, wrong joke. So this is how Siegfried felt…or was it Roy? I could never remember.

He managed to flip him into the wall. Beast Boy changed into a yeti.

Knife-play: (sigh) I'm so going to demand a bonus for this crap.

**He-man Gym**

Adonis wasn't alone. Atlas was there with him, much to their surprise. Robin was unable to do any damage to Atlas at all, but blows to Adonis's exposed face was working just fine. Raven flung equipment at Atlas, but he smashed them all easily. He was almost on her when Starfire slammed into him from the side.

Atlas: I will NOT be beaten by a mere human girl!

He grabbed Starfire by her head. She clenched her teeth and fired her eye beams, cutting right through his hand. Meanwhile, Cyborg wrestled with Adonis. He was doing alright this time around. Raven suddenly felt a terrible sinking feeling. It almost distracted her long enough for Atlas to grab her, but Terra grabbed his arm and flipped him, judo style.

Terra: Ha! Take that, you gold plated…

Atlas grabbed her by her thin waist.

Terra: …jerk?

Terra was flung into the mirror along the wall, shattering it. She groaned and stood up, her head swimming. Atlas lifted a weight rack and threw it at her. It stopped inches from his own face then slammed into him.

Raven: You alright?

Terra: Raven…you're personalities have gotten out…and they're all dressed like you this time…

Raven sighed and shook her head. Cyborg dodged several of Adonis's punches then turned his sonic cannon on him. The vibrations caused his suit to fall apart. With him out of the way, they could focus on Atlas. Robin threw his staff, which embedded itself in a hole that being hit with those weights had put in him. Speaking her words, Raven caused electric cables to pull themselves from the wall and wrapped around the staff. Atlas shorted out.

Raven: Let's go home…I've got this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach…

**Main Room**

Knife-play: (whoozy) Here kitty…

He stumbled around in a daze. He managed to defeat Beast Boy by slamming his head on the wall. Sure, it also got him vomited on, but it was a small price to pay. Now all he had to do was get out of there. His healing factor was in overdrive and the room was quickly ceasing its senseless spinning. Standing up straight again, he dusted himself off.

Knife-play: Well…that could have gone much worse.

The wall burst open and a giant green wooly mammoth stampeded toward him.

Knife-play: For example, THAT could have happened.

He was slammed against the window. Beast Boy changed into a gorilla and held him there. Reaching into his pouch, Knife-play pulled out his laser cutter tool and began to put a hole in the window.

Knife-play: (distracting) So…not easy being green, eh?

No response. He guessed Beast Boy couldn't talk in animal form. Oh well.

Knife-play: You know, I could be just grasping at straws here, but maybe you should be making sure your buddy isn't dead before you come and kick my ass. Just a thought.

The window finally gave way and he fell out.

Knife-play: TTFN!

Now that he was outside, he pressed a button on his wrist. A hover board swooped up and caught him before he went splat. Now it was only a semi-splat. He twitched spastically on the board as it returned to his employers place. Beast Boy returned to where Shade was and dragged him to the med-lab.

Beast Boy: Ah, man! What do I do? What do I do! Eh…!

Beast Boy pulled out his communicator and dialed up Robin. …do you dial those things? They usually just open them and talk…

Robin: Robin here. Can't this wait? We're on our way…

Beast Boy: No it can't wait! Shade's got this huge ass stab wound on his chest!

There was a cry of "WHAT!" and the communicator was snatched from Robin's hands. Raven's face filled the small screen and she did not look happy.

Raven: What in the flying hell did you do! Did you stab him! If you did, I swear I'll…

Beast Boy: No! It wasn't me! Somebody broke into the tower, snuck into Starfire's room, stole some stuff, cut the heads off all her stuff animals…

Another cry of "WHAT!" and the communicator was once again snatched away.

Starfire: Who dares do such a thing as to violate my room in such a manner?

Raven suddenly appeared next to Beast Boy, breathing heavily.

Raven: That…was…a strain…

She put her hand over Shade's chest and concentrated. Her hand glowed briefly as she closed the wound slightly. She then staggered back and fell onto a nearby chair.

Raven: …clean it out…antiseptic's over there.

Beast Boy took the antiseptic and got ready to pour it on the wound.

Raven: No! Put it on gauze then GENTLY clean the wound out!

Beast Boy did what she said and she sank back in the chair, exhausted. She shouldn't have tried it. Teleporting from such a distance was difficult without using the dark magic Malichor taught her and she swore to never do that again. Focusing on a weakened mind like Shade's was now made it even harder. Then to use her power to heal him…she was lucky to still be awake, her eyelids were heavy. She couldn't sleep. Not yet. She had to make sure he was okay before she could rest.

Beast Boy: Okay, now what?

Raven: (muttering) B…bandage it…

Beast Boy: You okay?

Raven: Jus' tired…bandage it…

Beast Boy: 'kay. Anything else.

Raven: No…that's good…th…

Raven's eyes closed.

Beast Boy: …

Beast Boy turned and vomited into the trash can.

Beast Boy: Hey, I got it!

**Main Room: Later**

Terra: So what do you say…?

Shade: Thank you, Raven.

Raven: Your welcome, Shadie.

Shade: Don't call me that!

Terra huffed.

Terra: Don't thank her! Thank Beast Boy!

Shade: For what? Standing there while I got stabbed?

Shade blew his nose as Terra shook her head in disdain.

Terra: How about you, Gar? How you doing?

Beast Boy: I'm good. I think I finally stopped puking.

Starfire walked in, a blank look on her face.

Robin: Starfire…is something wrong?

Starfire: He took…

Robin: Yeah?

Starfire: He took…MY PANTIES!

Everyone stared at her in shock.

Cyborg: Exsqueeze me?

Starfire: I have been attacked by the panty thief!

Shade: …but he was a mercenary. Someone hired him to do that.

Raven: Sick bastard.

Beast Boy: Wonder who it was…

Knife-play opened his knap-sack and dumped the underwear in front of his employer.

Knife-play: Here you go, two dirty, two clean, just like you asked, you perverted weasel.

Control Freak: ALRIGHT!

Knife-play: So where's my reward, porky?

Control Freak turned on a video and pressed a button on his remote. Knife-play's eyes widened.

Knife-play: SWEET! Pleasure doing business with you, bud. How long does this last again?

Control Freak: About an hour. Better hurry.

Knife-play: Hell, I intend to take my time. Come my little playmate of the year! To the bed room! WHOO HOO!

**THE END!**


	4. Review Replies

**REVIEW REPLIES**

Oh, he doesn't NEED them. Well, maybe in his mind he does, but it's not for an evil plan of some kind. He's just sick, which was kind of made clear in "For Real". Why does he have a Raven and Starfire costume? Someone that size should not wear a leotard and no man should wear a mini-skirt. …hold on a second. You've given me an idea. Check that, he DOES have an evil plan. Oh what a plan it is. You'll just have to wait to see what it is.


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